Written last night.

First –

I’m listening to Otis tonight. He’s soulful and bitter-sweet, and he makes my heart hurt and smile at the same time? I’m right there on that dock with you, Otis.

—————————We drove down to N.N. today. I had to get my I.N.R. checked. It was low on Friday, but it’s just in the normal range again.

We occasionally have lunch at the Panera Bread that’s outside of Williamsburg proper, and that was the case yesterday. Herman got a bowl of broccoli cheddar cheese soup and I got the tomato bisque – same as last time. We’re so predictable. They give you a hunk of a baguette with it. It’s perfect on a cold day. We got a Greek salad with it this time and shared it. I only had a little but what I had was delicious. I love feta and Kalamata olives.

I decided that I needed an old fashioned calendar for my purse. Digital scheduling seems way over the top for my life. Every year I get one or more of those pocket calendars in the mail from a local dry cleaner or auto dealership or Realtor. In the past, I’ve promptly thrown them in the trash. When I finally came to the conclusion that a small, low-tech, pocket calendar would be just the ticket for me, I didn’t receive a single one. So I bought an inexpensive one yesterday.

When I was young, I thought I wanted the kind of life that required scheduling. I admired that woman who looked at her watch while standing in line. You know her. She looks at her wrist and lightly taps her watch with her index finger. She has no time to waste and wants to convey that fact to the sales clerk. She purses her lips and furrows her brow. She has places to be, people to see, meetings to attend.

I’ve never had the kind of life that required scheduling, but I used to have the kind of mind that could remember the few appointments I needed to remember: the occasional lunch with a friend, an annual doctor’s appointment, a fund-raiser for the elementary school, a hair appointment, retrieve son after track practice, karate class, swim practice, soccer practice, etc. There really wasn’t that much to remember, and most of it was repetitive.

I love my low-tech Rolodex, too. It sits right here on my desk. It’s fantastic – grab it, flip it, retrieve the number or address (except when a stack of Herman’s who knows what is hiding it). I do put birthdays, appointments and anything else I have to remember on the calendar on my computer. Reminders pop up a couple of days before the event and keep me on track, but…

Things have changed. Even though this method has worked just fine in the past, I suddenly have a bazillion doctor’s appointments, and a diminishing capacity for remembering things. I can’t keep them straight, and I can’t take my whole computer with me to the doctor’s office? I’ve made appointments with doctors on a couple of occasions only to return home and learn that the appointment I just made conflicted with another appointment on my calendar. Now I can just pull this little calendar out and flip to the desired date to see if I already have an appointment scheduled on that date. Simple enough for me.

I thought of my best friend’s daughter when I bought my new calendar. She was toting a Day Planner around by the time she was twelve or thirteen, and believe me, she had a life that deserved scheduling. I wanted to grow up to be like her.

I finally got my wish. I now have a life that requires scheduling. It just isn’t the kind of scheduling I’d envisioned – no cocktails with Robert Redford or dinner with Richard Gere, no high-level meetings or getaways to exclusive spas, but I have a cute little calendar to schedule my days. That has to be worth something.

It’s true what they say. Be careful what you wish.


3 thoughts on “Today

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